The Joy of a Doormat

Are You Ready?

It's just there... hardly noticeable. Summer, spring, winter, fall - to shake of the dust and dirt from all the paths I tread so I could enter in. Enter in.

Paul is asking me (and you) in the letter to Philippians (chapter 2) if I am ready to be poured out as an offering. An offering is not to be taken back or reconsidered. It's a spill of water - never to be gathered back again into a basin. Stop and think.

For the Lord? Of course. For the work of another believer - as Chambers says, 'to pour out your life sacrificially for the ministry and faith of others?' A pause and a sigh.

Coming back to the doormat - Chambers throws out a challenge to many stating 'It is one thing to follow God's way of a service if you are regarded as a hero, but quite another thing if the road marked out for you by God requires becoming a "doormat" under people's feet'.

Serve - but never become a doormat. Be humble - but do not let others walk all over you.

Where does the cross fit into all of this? Where is the line? Is there a line? Where is my heart? Where is God's heart?

Didn't Christ Himself become sin? One who knew no sin became sin. One who does not know dust and dirt became a doormat so that many could enter in - for eternity.

Are you (Gintare) ready to be sacrificed like that? 'Are you ready to be less than a mere drop in the bucket - to be so totally insignificant that no one remembers you even if they think of those you served?' Only His name. Jesus.

so much more to learn and surrender.

Mister Oswald Chambers is right

My Utmost for His Highest accompanies me in my morning quiet and sometimes not so quiet times before and with the Lord.

I have read his devotional more than once - but every time I read something I have already laid my eyes upon, my heart seems to find new and unexplored words and Ideas and responses of the soul.

I have to admit, I am not such a great fan endings - I much more enjoy the process of something happening than the end of it. Let's take Christmas as an example. When September ends and October knocks on the door - my heart gets all excited - I have 3 whole months of heart preparation for multiple feasts. Turkeys are sold, pumpkins are carved and eventually Christmas lights splash color over dark neighborhoods - the time of waiting and anticipating is thrilling and warms the heart during a chilly season.

Then it all ends. No pumpkins and no Christmas lights. Yes -I am a huge fan of Christmas lights.

Now, what does mister Chambers have to do with all of this you may be wondering?

It is January 8th and today I read about Abraham and his sacrifice https://www.lds.org/scriptures/ot/gen/22.1-18?lang=eng. Many people when listening to this story either out loud or in their minds respond 'how can he do such a thing - be willing to sacrifice his own son? And God? seriously....'

I did. Still do now and then - when my heart falls asleep and I forget who my Father is, His character and heart for me.

Mister Chambers writes ' This incident is a picture of the blunder we make in thinking that the final thing God wants of us is the sacrifice of death.'

True. Have you heard sentences such as these: pick up your cross every single day or you must die to yourself if you want to follow Christ? I think so.

Epic and scary. Why? Why do our hearts get so frightened at these words? Yes - we do often think that all God wants from us is to give up things - for the sake of what? Just dying? But didn't He say that He is the Way the Truth and the LIFE. In Him there is no death - only Life.

Mister Chambers also writes that ' It is of no value to God to give Him your life for death.' A sigh of relief and a question whether I truly know His character and His good plan for me and that truly and surely and indubitably in Him there is only LIFE.

All of this reminds me of a song from Jesus Culture http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWCgyMaWcDs

Listen, soak in His LIFE giving presence and be filled.

on the sidewalk - there is hope

most of my  morning today was spent on the sidewalk of East Village in front of Tompkins Square park.
thinking about all that has happened last week in Newtown (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/18/newtown-schools-back-in-s_n_2322597.html) and other tragic events in the past I want to share this:

So, Sarah from Street Life Ministries (http://www.streetlife.org/) and I were sitting on the pavement listening to a friend of ours - about her struggles being a homeless, like multiple health issues, and some of her hopes and dreams for the future - like creating music =)

close to us, a man was sitting, I think he is a regular (resident) of the park, but I have not seen him before. He asked for socks and a list of organizations that would help him find a place to call home. He is not good at walking - so I brought him all the things to where he was sitting.

I wanted to sit down and talk with him and so I did. I asked how he's doing and his initial response was 'I want to kill someone' (he had a specific person in mind). Plus he told me that he has spent 15 years in prison for committing murder when he was just a teenager.  So we talked about why he is angry and frustrated and about forgiveness. There was a funny moment when a piece of bagel flew at me while praying for my new friend - the bagel was thrown at me by another homeless guy sitting close by.  There is great value and joy and privilege to sit down on the wet pavement and listen and pray - a ripple effect - that may save someone's life.

Please keep him in your prayers.

Tompkins Square park/East Village. Framed.

Tompkins Square park - a place to give and to receive

..to serve

...pull up a chair and listen 

be fed - His presence and love through our care and compassion 

and just marvel at His creation 

Love is... a bag of bananas, broccoli and a slice of salmon

I have one amazing youth group! 

Many of you heard about my 'great love' for bananas. Yes- I do remember the first time I munched on that yellow goodness. I remember as if it was yesterday. My grandma bought me this new unseen, unknown yellow.... sausage... when I was about 6 years old - about the time when Lithuania got its independence back. From then on - bananas and I are like the stamp and a letter or a bird and a feather = we're together. 

But there is more to this banana story. Apparently my body tends to be short on potassium, which is not that great. I guess it was meant to be - since bananas are pretty high in the great need I have for potassium. 

Lately my body has been given me 'low potassium signals'. I wrote a quick message to some of my youth group people to pray for my health. 

Then the doorbell rings - and some of my youth groups grand people are standing with a bag of bananas, broccoli and salmon. They researched and brought their research results to my door ... in a bag. 

I am beyond grateful 

I am Israel in the desert

I am reading the Old Testament, specifically the book of Exodus  - zooming it in, pondering upon it, mulling it over and searching my heart in the midst of it. 

So God brought the Israelite nation out of bondage and oppression - he made them a free people, a free nation; out of the yoke of slavery in Egypt into a place where God Himself led the chosen nation by a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. 

Bread from heaven and water from a rock. God even invited them to meet with Him face to face. Not just Moses and a few chosen - the whole group. Yet, they chose to stand afar - have a safe distance. 

Gratitude was not their forte - and the very physical presence of God Himself did not help them excel in the area of giving thanks. Grumbling and complaint was the tune to which their hearts sang day and night. The song of ungratefulness left them wondering in the desert for 40 years. 

I read. I marvel. I wonder and wander. ' How is this possible?' Pillar. Fire. An entire sea split into two - and still they grumble and complain. 

So I said I am searching my heart. If I do the searching - there's only so far that I can go - but if God does the scanning and deciphering... you not just go further into the search and research, but even find yourself longing to flee from all that is exposed.

I am Israel in the desert. 

I will not elaborate on the areas and topics I grumble and complain about. It is not so important - what is important here is that only constant, unwavering gratitude declares that God is truly always good. Victory is always His.

.

Many of you heard that my most favorite place in the whole of Manhattan is Tompkins Square park. 

The park is well known for its residence- the homeless, the drug addicts, the alcoholics, the unemployed, the hopeless, the noisy... 

Well - in this park I met some of the most grateful people on the face of this earth. I could tell stories upon stories about the people I met there - and sure, none of them are perfect - but I have learned so much from just being there, talking, listening and praying for people in and around the park. 

The woman in the picture above - I don't remember her name - but she is Vietnamese. We talked for about an hour in the freezing cold. Her husband left her, family abandoned her. She is raising two sons all by herself, one of them is sick. No permanent job, financial security and/or relative/friend support. Yet - she knows gratitude.  She lives gratitude and knows that God IS good. The stories she told were somewhat unbelievable - but what is most important is that in all the heartache and abandonment - she never forgot to give thanks. 

After our long conversation she left - but 15 minutes later or so she came back looking for me. Why? Because she forgot to ask my name and write it down on her hand so she could pray for me. 

yes. humbled. 

Dear Gintare,

Dear Gintare,

When you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don’t fuss about what’s on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. You must never forget that there is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Just look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you, Gintare, count far more to him than birds.

Did you ever hear of someone getting taller by so much as an inch by fussing? Relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving.

People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. So, there is only one thing for you to do - Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.